It's no secret that I, Daniel, am a big fan of David Beckham. I would, without hesitation, let him has his filthy way with me even if it involved a kiddie pool and Costco-sized tins of pork'n'beans. What's not to like about him? So his voice is a little higher than one might expect (though not squeaky, Michael Jackson-esque as some would let you believe), and yes his wife is Victoria "I'm the live action version of Skeletor" Beckham, but like a good gay and American (either excuse justifies this), I could let his undeniable pulchritude allow me to overlook these two imperfections--but I don't need to. And why is that? Because Americans who have any interest in pop culture need to love Becks, and the reason is he is his celebrity is the antithesis to the celebrity embodied by Britney Spears. He is yang to Brit's yin, and without the ascension of Becks to counter-balance Brit, we will see only decay in stardom and celebrity. There will be more hope, or glamour, or envy. Hollywood would become an expensive gutter of white or white-washed trash from which only more of Britney and her ilk can congeal from.
Whereas Britney's version of parenting makes K-Fed look like Mrs. Cleaver, Becks is the poster guy for wholesome and sexy paternity--extending beyond his three sons to his commitment to youth and youth soccer programs, his youth soccer academies, visiting sick or maimed kids in Third World or war-torn countries, pleads for the return of abducted children, etc. etc. Of course, key is how much the media covers reminds us that he loves kids, loves doing defense drills with inner city kids at F.C. Harlem, love goofing off with them like he is still one too. But it's not "juvenile" behavior in the way Ms. Spears comes out of car letting the world be her gynecologist, or putting your newborn in your lap in the front seat of your car as if you were an effective child safety device.
Sure, Becks was not without scandal back in Britain: there was the Rebecca Loos adultery accusation. But savvy Beckham twice over did what few in Hollywood could do: 1. He shut the fuck up, only denying it had ever occurred, and 2. He left Brand Beckham steer the populous into trusting him, believing him, and if necessary, forgiving him. And what happened anyway? Loos undermined her own credibility, made herself look like an opportunistic 14:59'er (that's someone who doesn't even get 15 minutes of fame), and Becks keeps his reputation in tack and becomes a U.N. Goodwill Ambassador. See, that's how you spell 'comeback.' But Britney is an avalanche: snowballing herself with one embarrassment after another. Even if she does shut the fuck up, she does something retarded like gets in the with Kabbalah and shaves her head. At least when David gets a hairdo, it's covered because a trend can be on the verge, not because we need proof that the next time his goes out in public, he might be wearing a jacked-up looking wig or a really fucking bad weave.
Which brings us to last week's MTV VMAs. HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT! JIGGA WHA?!?! I don't think I have (ever enjoyed) seen(ing) such a let down--and I am not even talking about the fans! Shots of utterly dismayed entertainers cutting back to Britney barely lip syncing her own song, looking like she had never worn high heals in her unnatural life and pathetically "dancing" was the precursor to her implosion. And that cray-cray queen on YouTube defending what's left of her honor and "talent" and hot mess of a life basically said this: crazy follows crazy.
And after the masses get their final kicks out of Britney, and finally dismiss her as anything more than a pop tart, they'll yearn for the kind of celebrity one wants to be, not get an inoculation from. Beckham and his glamorousness and luxury, who took the American ethic of consumerism and extravagance and made it look like class, whose non-aggressive, ambiguous politics of non-politics makes him loved by everyone, is just what American pop culture needs. This is a man who can epitomize meterosexuality and have an association with loco Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes but still come out looking fresh and sane.
So if we keep Britney and her negative yin element around even for amusement, we'll need Beck's yang. We should even tolerate Posh (acknowledging that even a yang has a little yin in it, and vice-versa) if we are to stay enamored with what we hate to admit we'd like to be or have.
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